150 days came and went.
Today marks the 155th day.
La, each day, I am closer to being with you. Well, not exactly be in the same place and same destination as you though.
You're in a different spot and I believe you will be in a different place when the time comes. You'll be in heaven while my final destination is still unknown.
La, kadang-kadang Adik terlalu rindukan Zilla. Entahlah, La. Aren't I supposed to be stronger as the days go by?
My friend's dad passed away a few days ago. She had already lost her mother years ago and now she lost her dad. He had cancer, La. Just like you. Although it was a different form of cancer. Kesian dia, La. She's 22 and she's the eldest child. One younger brother is in NS and her youngest brother is just about to be enlisted. She's in her third year in NTU now and she already has to fend for herself and her brothers. Kesiankan dia, La?
Cancer robs a person of his or her loved ones. Cancer robs a soul all the time. Cancer takes away a family's happiness. However, I know, La, that Allah has a reason for creating it. Sometimes, it is how redemption is presented to a person. Also, it is a test of faith for some people like me - how much faith do we have in Him?
La, I don't blame cancer and I don't blame Him for taking you away. I do blame those people for hurting you and making you suffer while you are already hurting. I know Allah took you away so that you will stop hurting. He took your pain away eternally. I do wish though that my pain eases away. I don't want to forget you, I still want to see you in my dreams since I can't have you alive, but the pain...
I'll work on it...
I'll work on being more mechanical. With less emotions.
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