Silence is the sound of disbelief

La, one of your friends called up looking for you earlier today.

When the guy said your name on the phone, I thought I heard it wrong. I was thinking perhaps he meant to say my name but he mispronounced it and it sounded like yours instead. I got him to repeat it twice. He didn't say the wrong name afterall. He was, indeed, looking for you.

I told him. About you. And that I was sorry to break the news to him. It rendered him silent. It was the "sound" of shock and disbelief.

I asked for his name. He said it's K/o/j/i. I remembered you mentioned him to me once before so I told him. He told me that he had been overseas for a while and since he's back in Singapore, he'd look you up. He told me that he used to be close to you at work and that he wasn't that close with the rest. He wanted to catch up. Only to find out there's no more you to catch up with. He was genuinely shocked.

He asked about your kids, how they are getting along. He was concerned if they would be able to take the blow. Ironically, your kids were making a ruckus in the background. :)

He left me his mobile number so that I can contact him should the kids need anything. I would not impose on him but out of courtesy and to respect him for his good wishes, I noted it down. He said he would do anything should the kids need any help. It was the least he could do in honour of you.

I apologised to him for not being able to contact him to inform of your demise. He apologised to me for not knowing and for calling up asking for you. We are both sorry you are not here. Here to pick up the call. Here to meet up with him and catch up on old times. Here to be with us.

Five months. And there are many out there who still do not know.

Five months. And we still feel your absence.