A day of utter disappointment

Backlog
Dated: 29 Aug 2007
Time: 10:38pm

La, earlier today, I wanted very much to visit you at your resting place. I had searched online how to get there by public transport. The (unreliable) website stated that I can take a certain bus from Boon Lay Interchange & the bus stop is located not very far from where you are.

I was really looking forward to visit you since I can easily commute to Boon Lay Interchange from school. When I was making my way to the bus queue, somehow I had the strong urge to check the bus directory board to count the number of bus stops that I would have to pass in order to get to you. And then, I saw it: a short disclaimer at the bottom that says that the bus operates only on special occasions like Hari Raya & so on. I re-read it over & over again, sometimes slowly, to fully understand the meaning of it in case I got it wrong. But no, it said what it said. Which wasn't said on the website. La, my heart just sank when it struck me that I couldn't visit you when I really wanted to.

La, it was really hard to contain my disappointment. Could you feel my disappointment from wherever you are? Sorry, La. I don't know how this afterlife thing works but it's just a thought.

Anyway, it distracted me the whole time I was out, even in the company of friends. I thought of returning to your place yet again today, especially since I was somewhere that's about 20mins' walk from your house, but I reminded myself that I had already planned to sleep over tomorrow, so today, it was unnecessary to. So I went back home, only to be informed of something that could only make me even sadder.

I'll continue later or tomorrow, ok La? I've cried quite a bit and I'm tired. Sampai dah tertidur-tidur type entry ni. :) Surely, if you're near me now, you'd have seen me falling asleep as I type. I can imagine you looking at me & smile in amusement at the sight of your sister half-awake, half-asleep, intent on telling you her sad story for the day & her fingers kept busy typing away, occasionally wiping away her tears & her runny snort. :D

Ok lah, La. Nanti Adik ceritakan La lagi k? Adik tidur dulu tau.